Top Ten Signs You Are Not a City Person

9. Crazy People

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Sign: You Pay Attention to Crazy People.

After about the 800th woman with a shopping cart yelling at herself or middle aged man calling for his mom as if they got separated at a Toys R Us, you start to just not see all these invisible friend-havers. They simply are blotted out of your conscious perception. Vicious obscenities and nonsense rantings become a soothing sort of white noise that simply reminds you that you have officially arrived in the city. But for anyone used to social functionality, these individuals are alarming, and make the city feel like a circus full of freaks. They have not yet been pushed to the periphery. Just give it time, and the insanity should start to become oddly comforting; who else makes it their duty to remind you how absolutely alienating the city can be, as well as how much worse it could be.

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